'Huntington Road'

My latest finished work. Huntington Road is a main thoroughfare near to my house in York. I was inspired by a particular stretch one night. The road curves to follow the river Foss, the houses are broken up by the grounds of a halls of residence and the streetlights march into the distance. Unfortunately I couldn't find skill or patience to make my own road curve. I also couldn't be bothered to put in as many streetlights, or reproduce the gardens properly. So this is more a 'based on...' than an accurate picture, and mainly an exercise in lighting. The bulbs of the street and car lights were done by point lights; odd little things which shine in all directions but only a very limited way. Their glow on the pavement and road was reproduced by spotlights, which shine as far as you want but only one direction. I also had to chuck in a couple of low-watt distance lights so the darker areas were actually visible. And if you think there were far too many 'lights' in the last 3 sentences, so did Daz Studio. If you put too many lights into a scene it goes into a huff, reproducing them all in the final render but refusing to show them in the active viewpoint. What this meant was that I was working in near-darkness most of the time. Just like the council workmen fixing a bust waterpipe on the real Huntington Road. And until the heater in my house spluttered into life, the temperature was similiar too.

I quite like the final result, though wish I'd done more to make the river more visible. It seems to have the empty, mundane menace of a surburban street at night. But it does inspire the thought, "My god, was this really worth the effort?" One of my favourite colleagues on Renderosity said it reminded him of a Surrealist painting from the 1920's, itself a nicely surreal comment.

'In The Bleak Midwinter'

A recent composition. I took the title from the carol, of course, but the days I had in mind were more the ones immediately after Christmas. When families feel they should do something healthy together, like go for a walk in nearby woods, but the weather's so foul they don't last more than half an hour. Though these days are usually dark and drizzly, I chose fog here because it's more aesthetically pleasing. I made the fog with several cloud models, arranged in layers to create the effect of objects disappearing into the mist. That's worked quite well, and you can't go wrong with bare, ominous branches. But the landscape overall doesn't look very convincing, despite considerable effort. The contrast of the happy, scampering child also isn't as startling as I hoped.

Renderosity

3D modelling, at least in its modern form, is a hobby existing almost exclusively over the internet. You cannot, to my knowledge, buy even the basic software for Daz Studio or Poser at your local PC World. You certainly cannot find a pair of high heels which look exactly right. (Yes, I've started shoe shopping since taking up rendering and, yes, I enjoy it. It's remarkable what a male can justify providing it only exists in virtual form.) Everything is done online.

And one consequence is that you learn very quickly how huge the rendering community, to use a very dubious phrase, is. You start a hobby you weren't even aware existed until a few months ago, which still still inspires bland looks when you try to describe it. Hunched alone over your mouse trying to make a thigh bend in precisely the right way, it feels like you're the only one ever to be obsessed with then. Then you wander just a little way online and rapidly discover thousands of people around the globe are similarly preoccupied. And, naturally, most have been doing it much longer than you and are much better. The fist indications I got were the forums on Daz Studio's own site. As with all forums, it was like wandering into a hundred different argument which have all lasted for months. But only after joining Renderosity did I realise how far this madness has spread.

Renderosity has various functions. It has a large shop, doubtless taking a cut from each sale to help fund the site. There is a freebies section, where people gifted and generous in equal measure donate their models and textures to talentless leaches like myself. The central part, though, is the gallery. Where all the thousands of amateur wannabe artists shyly upload their creations, hoping for a few kind words and just a morsel of recognition. The size alone is staggering. There were 22,056 of images when I just checked and approximately one new one arrives every minute. It is like the largest private gallery in the world. We only exhibit to our peers but still feel pleased to exhibit at all. As with most blogs, we know we will be largely ignored. That is, however, still better than creating something and just burying it away at the bottom of a hard drive.

Not all the images on Renderosity are renders. At least a third are photos. The breathtaking quality of many compared to my own efforts tempts me to mend the title of this blog to Can't Paint Can't Draw Can't Photograph. The bulk are created by software, however. By Daz and Poser; by Bryce and Vue, chiefly used for landscapes; by the optimistically labelled 3D Studio Max; by iClone (which only two people in the world seem to actually own) and Hobbyist and Rhino 3D and a host of other weird names.

Now, I have Issues with Renderosity. More precisely, with the images created by these array of technological wonders. The subject matter is rather homogeneous, which is a failing in itself. But even worst, the subject matter is very often fairies. Daz Studio gives away a few basic fairy objects with the software; wings, wands and so on. They're fine to use as practice when you're first learning the program. Why anyone would want to use them in an actual proper picture, and then advertise the fact to the whole world... Well, I once dated a woman who claimed with a straight face that she believed in fairies so I probably shouldn't judge too harshly. It is, however, hard not too. And many on Renderosity who don't clap their hands and believe in fairies put their energy into creating pretty women with big breasts. Sometimes they have chain mail and swords. Sometimes the context is a spaceship or that urban wasteland cyberpunk thingy. Very often they are just pretty women with big breasts, no background considered necessary. The overall effect is again like a gallery, this time one in a stately home. The technique is frequently amazing – many, many people can do lighting and textures far better than I can. But there is no meaning to the images, no intellect and little experimentation. The only difference is that instead of the self-satisfied lords and arrogant duchesses who decorate the walls of stately homes, you get fairies and pretty women with big breasts. I'm not sure which is worst.

Renderosity, it should be added, has Issues with me too. Uploading an image to the site has become my way of declaring I'm done. It Is Complete, and I will dick around with it no more. (Although, naturally, I have gone back and dicked around with a couple subsequently.) Sometimes I think this is the only positive effect the upload has. Members can post comments on the pictures. A good way of gauging popularity is to count the number of comments, since almost nobody is rude enough to offer anything other than gushing praise. The most mediocre of images, the least remarkable fairy illuminated by flat lighting, usually gets 10-20 comments. The site's star performers attract about four pages' worth. And I get 5-6 comments on a good day. There is one obvious reason, of course. My images aren't all that great. A lack of attention and talent will out, however wonderful your software; and Daz Studio isn't really the best rendering software around. But I like to think there is also another, darker, reason. Most members of Renderosity think that I'm not creating the right type of picture. Instead of the visions of heroic beefcakes and sultry babes in fantastic settings, there's just these little bits of ordinary life. Some – in fact most - of the people aren't even very attractive. It Is Wrong. We Will Reject It. And sustained by this hilariously presumptive comparison of myself to the Impressionists spurned by the Paris Salon in the nineteenth century, I continue submitting works to Renderosity.

Of course, there are always exceptions. I have a little band of supporters kind enough to offer comments almost every time. (Though the remarks of several seem to be getting less and less enthusiastic.) More importantly, there are still a number of artists with both talent and imagination in absurd quantities. The sheer size of the site means I've only been able to discover a handful. Here, though, are a few. Visit their galleries to see what can be achieved by rendering.

Jollyself

Absurdly talented, showing what a proper artist can do when she gets her hands on the right software. She has churned out a vast array of images. Most are surreal and many rather disturbing; peeling skin and reconstructed bodies are a favourite. Her output is also a little unsettling. She posts an average of one image a day and most, judging by their quality, must of taken her her a large percentage of that day. It's hard to avoid picturing someone as obsessed as Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

Magnus 073

Specialises in multi-figured scenes involving children and parents. Can be a bit sentimental at times but generally redeemed by the details in the images, which show a more anarchic world. He seems to run a kind of site service, whereby he listens to an episode from another member's childhood and then illustrates it. If he ever asks me, I'm going to see what he makes of the Murder In The Dark we played at my sister's parties.

Kitzie 21

A great one for retro 20's images. Women in long ballgowns dancing in the arms of their lovers, jazz musicians with their eyes covered by their hats. A bit like something you'd buy from Athena, only good.

Topaz Rose

Like Jollyself, an alarming surrealist with a fondest for figures with peeling skin. Often throws in SF or horror elements (he particularly likes skeletons) to create some very unnerving images. He was also man enough recently to include a rant about the things I've been ranting about – Renderosity is full of talentless copycats. He probably included me in this morass but I included it nonetheless.

Cvrad

Only has a small gallery but it incorporates all sorts. Photography, SF, horror, a few pretty women with big breasts. Worth visiting for his wonderful 'City Blight' series, some of the bleakest and most depressing urban landscapes I've ever seen.

'All Blocked Up'

A bit of a cheat, this one. What do you do if you're struggling for inspiration? Why, do an image of someone who's struggling for inspiration. Something you can only do once, however, because you can't really get a niche as the 'people struggling for inspiration' artist. This is just done for laughs, of course. The rather cliched pose of the writer. And the props - the Motivation poster, the guide book, the poster of Maya Angelou who I figured might be a heroine to a female black writer - being no good whatsoever. It's come out quite well though and the shine of the monitor, done by shining a very focused spotlight at it, more or less works.

'Babes In The Wood'

I've done a few children/teenager images though not many. The Daz models rather put me off, getting more and more cartoony as they go down the age scales. And the tendency to over-exagurrate is too great for the 'artist' too. This is my favourite, unsubtle enough in its meaning though I like the different reactions among the characters. It also shows how clothes can influence appearance of age. The slacker in the foreground is the same model as the pair behind him/her but looks years older. The path was made from a photo I took at York's Clifton Ings; the woody background from another taken close by. Both fit into the forest models reasonably well, although you don't have to look that close to see the joins. Incidentally, it's no wonder they are lost. The map they are consulting is of the Helvellyn mountain range in the Lake District, an area not noted for its woods.

'Mid Morning Snack'

Still the only render I've made without any human figures; even my few landscape ones have them in somewhere. This was done after buying a lot of textures for the Daz Millenium Cat. (A lot of the Daz models are Millenium this-or-that, a boast now dating distressingly.) I was inspired largely because the textures were ridiculously cute. And my subconscious reaction, I now realise, was to show a cat in as uncute a fashion as possible. Still unsure about the sizes. Both the cat and the dragonfly are alarmingly large in their native fashion and I'm not certain I've shrunk them both correctly. And the grass looks crap, but then grass generally does with these programs.

'Sunday Morning'

Still the favourite of all my images. Trying to create the effect of sunshine through lace curtains, I got two nightie models, stretched them somewhat, put them at the windows and shone lights through them. It maybe isn't completely realistic but I do like the effect. The picture is Peter Doig's 'Architect House In The Ravine.' Hard to say why I like this so much. The lighting came out more or less perfect; and the mood is the ambiguous type that I love. It's just a bit galling that, a year and many images later, I still haven't done anything that I'm as proud of.