Renderosity

3D modelling, at least in its modern form, is a hobby existing almost exclusively over the internet. You cannot, to my knowledge, buy even the basic software for Daz Studio or Poser at your local PC World. You certainly cannot find a pair of high heels which look exactly right. (Yes, I've started shoe shopping since taking up rendering and, yes, I enjoy it. It's remarkable what a male can justify providing it only exists in virtual form.) Everything is done online.

And one consequence is that you learn very quickly how huge the rendering community, to use a very dubious phrase, is. You start a hobby you weren't even aware existed until a few months ago, which still still inspires bland looks when you try to describe it. Hunched alone over your mouse trying to make a thigh bend in precisely the right way, it feels like you're the only one ever to be obsessed with then. Then you wander just a little way online and rapidly discover thousands of people around the globe are similarly preoccupied. And, naturally, most have been doing it much longer than you and are much better. The fist indications I got were the forums on Daz Studio's own site. As with all forums, it was like wandering into a hundred different argument which have all lasted for months. But only after joining Renderosity did I realise how far this madness has spread.

Renderosity has various functions. It has a large shop, doubtless taking a cut from each sale to help fund the site. There is a freebies section, where people gifted and generous in equal measure donate their models and textures to talentless leaches like myself. The central part, though, is the gallery. Where all the thousands of amateur wannabe artists shyly upload their creations, hoping for a few kind words and just a morsel of recognition. The size alone is staggering. There were 22,056 of images when I just checked and approximately one new one arrives every minute. It is like the largest private gallery in the world. We only exhibit to our peers but still feel pleased to exhibit at all. As with most blogs, we know we will be largely ignored. That is, however, still better than creating something and just burying it away at the bottom of a hard drive.

Not all the images on Renderosity are renders. At least a third are photos. The breathtaking quality of many compared to my own efforts tempts me to mend the title of this blog to Can't Paint Can't Draw Can't Photograph. The bulk are created by software, however. By Daz and Poser; by Bryce and Vue, chiefly used for landscapes; by the optimistically labelled 3D Studio Max; by iClone (which only two people in the world seem to actually own) and Hobbyist and Rhino 3D and a host of other weird names.

Now, I have Issues with Renderosity. More precisely, with the images created by these array of technological wonders. The subject matter is rather homogeneous, which is a failing in itself. But even worst, the subject matter is very often fairies. Daz Studio gives away a few basic fairy objects with the software; wings, wands and so on. They're fine to use as practice when you're first learning the program. Why anyone would want to use them in an actual proper picture, and then advertise the fact to the whole world... Well, I once dated a woman who claimed with a straight face that she believed in fairies so I probably shouldn't judge too harshly. It is, however, hard not too. And many on Renderosity who don't clap their hands and believe in fairies put their energy into creating pretty women with big breasts. Sometimes they have chain mail and swords. Sometimes the context is a spaceship or that urban wasteland cyberpunk thingy. Very often they are just pretty women with big breasts, no background considered necessary. The overall effect is again like a gallery, this time one in a stately home. The technique is frequently amazing – many, many people can do lighting and textures far better than I can. But there is no meaning to the images, no intellect and little experimentation. The only difference is that instead of the self-satisfied lords and arrogant duchesses who decorate the walls of stately homes, you get fairies and pretty women with big breasts. I'm not sure which is worst.

Renderosity, it should be added, has Issues with me too. Uploading an image to the site has become my way of declaring I'm done. It Is Complete, and I will dick around with it no more. (Although, naturally, I have gone back and dicked around with a couple subsequently.) Sometimes I think this is the only positive effect the upload has. Members can post comments on the pictures. A good way of gauging popularity is to count the number of comments, since almost nobody is rude enough to offer anything other than gushing praise. The most mediocre of images, the least remarkable fairy illuminated by flat lighting, usually gets 10-20 comments. The site's star performers attract about four pages' worth. And I get 5-6 comments on a good day. There is one obvious reason, of course. My images aren't all that great. A lack of attention and talent will out, however wonderful your software; and Daz Studio isn't really the best rendering software around. But I like to think there is also another, darker, reason. Most members of Renderosity think that I'm not creating the right type of picture. Instead of the visions of heroic beefcakes and sultry babes in fantastic settings, there's just these little bits of ordinary life. Some – in fact most - of the people aren't even very attractive. It Is Wrong. We Will Reject It. And sustained by this hilariously presumptive comparison of myself to the Impressionists spurned by the Paris Salon in the nineteenth century, I continue submitting works to Renderosity.

Of course, there are always exceptions. I have a little band of supporters kind enough to offer comments almost every time. (Though the remarks of several seem to be getting less and less enthusiastic.) More importantly, there are still a number of artists with both talent and imagination in absurd quantities. The sheer size of the site means I've only been able to discover a handful. Here, though, are a few. Visit their galleries to see what can be achieved by rendering.

Jollyself

Absurdly talented, showing what a proper artist can do when she gets her hands on the right software. She has churned out a vast array of images. Most are surreal and many rather disturbing; peeling skin and reconstructed bodies are a favourite. Her output is also a little unsettling. She posts an average of one image a day and most, judging by their quality, must of taken her her a large percentage of that day. It's hard to avoid picturing someone as obsessed as Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

Magnus 073

Specialises in multi-figured scenes involving children and parents. Can be a bit sentimental at times but generally redeemed by the details in the images, which show a more anarchic world. He seems to run a kind of site service, whereby he listens to an episode from another member's childhood and then illustrates it. If he ever asks me, I'm going to see what he makes of the Murder In The Dark we played at my sister's parties.

Kitzie 21

A great one for retro 20's images. Women in long ballgowns dancing in the arms of their lovers, jazz musicians with their eyes covered by their hats. A bit like something you'd buy from Athena, only good.

Topaz Rose

Like Jollyself, an alarming surrealist with a fondest for figures with peeling skin. Often throws in SF or horror elements (he particularly likes skeletons) to create some very unnerving images. He was also man enough recently to include a rant about the things I've been ranting about – Renderosity is full of talentless copycats. He probably included me in this morass but I included it nonetheless.

Cvrad

Only has a small gallery but it incorporates all sorts. Photography, SF, horror, a few pretty women with big breasts. Worth visiting for his wonderful 'City Blight' series, some of the bleakest and most depressing urban landscapes I've ever seen.